Sometimes there are people that come into your life, that you believe are meant to be there forever. You get along so well at first, that you overlook certain things that are under the surface. You are blinded by the fact you don't want to open your eyes to see what the person is really like.
I learned that today, sometimes when God shuts the door you need to leave it closed. There are reasons these people are put into your life, to teach you something, or to lead you to something. Meaning is that everything happens for a reason, and I cannot sit and blame myself for things going sour. Sometimes things are not meant to be forever, and I learned that today its alright to just let it go.
I have a hard time opening up to people as it is, and these last few months I have allowed tons of new people into my life. I am not complaining, this is something I wanted to do but was unsure on how to go about it. I started a YouTube channel, opened up my Facebook, and started a blog. I am certainly thrilled at the support I am receiving, and I cannot even begin to express my gratitude. But that is not enough to keep me in an unhealthy relationship....
The reason for this blog is for me to get out my feelings, its for me to be able to sleep at night when things are bothering me. It would be easy for me to blast every dirty detail about this person all over the social media platforms. But that's not the type of person I have become, I won't stoop so low. I won't make a fool of myself in that manner, what I will do is write down how I feel and breathe just a little easier when it is published.
Life is fickle this way..... but its very necessary for you to grow as a person. To become the better me, I had to be willing to let go. I had to be strong enough to say, no more, im done and walk away. The old nirvana was so starved for attention, so desperate for love that no matter how tainted and toxic the relationship was she would have stuck it out. Well i am not that person anymore, and I have more respect for myself.
So loss is never easy, and it hurts me to my very bones. This has been eating me away inside, for months. Last night was the first time in months i was able to breathe, a long sigh of its over. I no longer have to walk on egg shells because, of someones fragile ego. I can just be me...
Thats all for tonight my pretty little losers... love your favorite villainess N...
Thinking of you Nirvana. Sending hugs to you
ReplyDeleteThank you so much lady, it means a lot. The fact I had to even block this stalker even on here is sad. *sighs*
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DeleteYou have to be you. Can't hold your self back because it can eat you up inside and your living your life for you not anyone else. I walk on eggshells for years with a person in my past and that person even controlled my life and didn't live with me. I had to do things their ways or they found ways to manipulate me to do things as soon as I got out and away from her I felt free and I was even scared because I let it go on so long I was in fear of change . Keep up the good walk some times you have to walk faster then some to get to your goals love ya girl keep up the great work look forward talking to you if you ever like to talk I'm here 4197756934. That goes for anyone who needs someone to chat with.
ReplyDeleteI hope she'll leave you alone. She's fucking miserable and that is why she has to try to put you on blast in comments. It's super sad, because you didn't even say a name and she came here trying to put you on blast.
ReplyDeleteTo the person who is posting rude shit:
Nirvana is too nice to go to extremes, but if you keep pushing her, she will. It's a two way street. She knows some very personal stuff about you, your income, your habits and a variety of other things you told her in confidence. Nirvana is taking the high road. You said people should be building each other up and not tearing each other down. She has made NO mention of your name and has said 0 personal things about you. Just leave her alone, how hard is that?
^ me btw - Tasha
ReplyDeleteyou are doing wonderfully and removing toxic individuals is always the biggest step to being healthy, of course toxic individuals are always starved for attention as well, so you end up with a lot of garbage after you clean them out of your life. the one i got rid of has sent me random emails from many accounts rambling about fucked up stuff and then pelts me with insults, but since i have grown and changed and matured as a person, i just file those away, shake my head at their ongoing narcissism, and continue on my happier path. they are sad and lonely but its not our job to pick them up. hopefully someday they will grow up and see the mistakes they have made.
ReplyDeletelove you nirvy <3