Oh boy!! one of my largest fears in life is driving.. I hate driving with a passion its never a "fun" activity for me. Its something i loath, but having said that it is necessary if I want to get my life back on track.
Back on track means so many different things lately, I honestly just want to feel like I can overcome the fears that held me captive for 22 years. I want to feel the freedom to do whatever the hell i want when I want too, and spit in fears face with a hearty laugh *you have no power here*!!!!..
I have spent my entire life being afraid of what people would think, how I would feel if.... this or that would happen. That I wasn't living, I was barely existing to say the least. I watched one of my oldest videos from 2012 on YouTube ill leave a link. I saw someone who wanted help so badly, every word laced with fear and doubt. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVwBkHZTtTY
I have come to awfully far, in one year seven months since that video I have turned my life completely upside down.. I have shaken all the cobwebs off and decided that the life I want isn't something to be fearful of....its something to reach for, to obtain it no matter what the cost! I decided the only person whose approval i needed was my own..
I drove on the interstate 77 miles yesterday, and no doubt ill be doing it again tonight. I fought through traffic, a hubcap fasco, and telling my comfort zone to suck it... The more fears I push through the less of a comfort zone I leave to run back too.... Change really does start with that one step outside of where you feel comfortable....
I am looking for jobs in my new area, not just so we have more money to live off of. But because dealing with large numbers of people scare the living hell out of me, I hate it with a passion. I am sweating now just thinking about it, but then again I have never been one for large groups of people. That is no excuse!!! I won't let fear capture me like that, I am not going to allow myself to fall back into my old life.
Make the change and stick with it no matter what... Learn your limits and always remember to take it slow. You will be proud of what you can achieve if you will just try! It can never hurt to try, and even if you don't make it the first time, thats okay there is always the next time.... goals don't have an expiration date!!!! <3
Thats all for now my pretty little losers, from your favorite Villainess N <3
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