Time to get back on track..

I love life, for the first time in my entire life I can say that without a smallest amount of humor hidden in my voice. Life is becoming everything that I could have dreamed of and more. 

Had i known what I was missing so many years ago, I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place. I wish when i was younger I could have used GYM to work out and learned how good it felt. But being bullied and being made fun of because I was weaker and fatter than the other kids, only propagated my lack of wanting to even try. 

But those times are over, and times are a changing and with those times I am forced to face my own fears and change with them. "Time waits for no man": is an important quote because life happens all around you. No matter if you choose to enjoy it and reap the full benefits or not. Time doesn't stop just because you are afraid... 

I have spent 34 years of my life being afraid to be myself, being afraid to grasp all that life can offer. Those days are over and I am thrilled to death at how much I can learn and accomplish in one year. I had someone tell me the other day that if i hadn't have had gastric bypass that I would still be the same person I was over a year ago. And I said to them I was making the right changes before my surgery, there is no way I would have stayed the same. 

Getting my surgery was important don't get me wrong, it has helped me tremendously and I won't even try to hide that fact. But I am not defined by the surgery alone, it is a tool to help me lose the weight but I have to kill myself working out and choosing what goes in my body for the tool to work. I have hormonal issues that have helped me reach the weight I became at 512 pounds, and not to mention our good old friend fear. 

This beautiful tool has been amazing in helping me achieve some of my goals, but I am far from where I need to be. I won't be done with my body or this beautiful journey for years maybe. And i am in no rush I am going to enjoy every single moment of my life. I am not going to hide myself any longer I am forcing myself to get out there and do. Thats what we should all do, life is too precious to worry about driving, or crowds, or drama of any kind. Life is so wonderful and short to not want to live every single day of it as if it was your last. So its time to get back on track, I have moved and life isn't waiting for me! <3 

Thats all for now my pretty little losers... <3 from you favorite Villainess N~