Anniversary

My husband.. 

The stone on which I stand.... My entire life I felt completely lost, I had no idea it was because my soul mate would be born 13 years after me, and across the country. I was 30 when we met, I had given up on so much. My life was turmoil, the relationship I had just been in was so toxic I had sworn off loving anyone ever again. 

But you crept in like a thief in the night, you slipped right though all my walls and borders. You stole what I thought was guarded under lock and key... The first time I realized I had feelings, the butterflies danced in my stomach all night long. I felt as if at any moment I would surely take flight. It was insane, but how could I tell you. I decided I wouldn't be the first, I couldn't put heart out there to be rejected. We were friends, fun happy, interesting friends. 

Besides how could anyone love me.... I was vile, broken, discarded and worthless..... The night you told me you cared for me, I cried for hours after you went to bed. I was so terrified to show you who I was behind the screen. The woman behind the avatar, the real person who could potentially be devastated if you were to reject her for being fat. I tried many nights to push you away, telling you all sorts of darken secrets and past events, testing the waters. You were so young, inexperienced, I was so terrified you didn't know what love was. 

How could anyone be more wrong, you came in like a tornado of love and acceptance from the moment you stepped off the plane. You've turned my world of ash into something bright and beautiful. My life has been amazing, these past six long years. Not perfect, not easy, not blissfully happy. But amazing, getting to know you and seeing you flourish right before my eyes. You gave me courage to change, you helped me find my own strength. Through your eyes I have found the person I buried under 500 pounds. Through your beautiful blue eyes, I can see so many things in my future. 

I love you, cherish you, need you, and adore every part of who you are and who you are becoming. I want to thank you for always believing in me, for always holding my hand, for taking care of me at my worst. I cannot wait to give you my best, I am working so hard on becoming the best Me i possibly can. To give you gorgeous children, to give you long endless years of passion and fun. 

You helped me become a woman........ 4 years of marriage today. I love you....... forever and a day...